You Can’t Spell Star Without A&R

A glossary of terms related to the A&R industry.

Be afraid…

 

When an artist calls to follow up on a demo they’ve sent and the A&R guy says, “It’s on the pile to be listened to”, he means, “It’s already in the bin”.

 

When an A&R guys says “I don’t think your music is right for our roster at the moment” it means

“It’s already in the bin”.

 

When an A&R guy says “I’ll try to make it to your band’s launch”, he means,

“I’ll be on the couch watching the cricket”.

 

When an A&R guys says, “I love R&B!” he’s lying.

When an A&R guys says, “I love hip hop!” he’s lying.

When an A&R guys says, “I love world music!” he’s lying.

When an A&R guys says, “I love folk music!” he’s lying.

When an A&R guys says, “I love bluegrass!” he’s lying.

 

When an A&R guy says, “Have you thought about doing a cover version?” he means,“There is no chance we can get your original music on radio”.

 

When there has been a mistake in the printing on your CD cover and he says, “We’ll make a running change”, he means, “Go away and stop bothering me”.

 

When he says that he has overseas interest in your CD, it means he spoke to someone that morning in the US and said “You should have heard this pile of crap that someone sent me yesterday”.

 

When an A&R guy says, “We’ll fix it in the mix” it means he really has no idea what he’s doing in a recording studio.

 

When your A&R guy says, “Order as much beer/food as you want… I’ll put it on my expenses” he means that it’s recoupable.

 

When your A&R guy says your new single needs a remix, it means radio hate your latest single.

 

When he says “We’ve gotta get this on the road!” it means, “We’ve gotta get you out of my office”.

 

When your A&R guys says “Have you thought about a different image for the CD cover?” it means

that you’re ugly.

 

When an A&R guy says, “Have you thought about doing a duet?” it means his Managing Director wants you to do a duet with their latest young starlet.

 

In addition to this, some of the clichés you get from the other side are;

 

When a producer/engineer brings you his current work for you to hear and says, “Have a listen to the latest female singer I am developing”, it means,

he’s sleeping with her.

 

When your company’s Chairman says, “Here is a new female artist that I think we should sign” it means he’s sleeping with her (or will be soon).

 

When your promotions manager says, “We can’t get your new signing on radio”, it means they really can’t be bothered trying.

 

If you have some additional you would like to make to this list… send them here.